


Longing

by sleepyblinders



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Angst I guess, F/M, Wandering Hands, this is from a tumblr request as well, uhhhh, weeooooo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-13 21:46:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16900401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepyblinders/pseuds/sleepyblinders
Summary: anonymous tumblr request: Hi! Can i request some fluffy soft Tommy Shelby who is in love with someone he doesnt think he can have (maybe johns girlfriend or his best friend or something so some angsty too)?? [sic]I think I gave it more of a happy ending then it needed, but also I'm weak. Here's some Tommy angst!EDIT: also... it's a female reader/tommy shelby one-shottt.





	Longing

February was full of rain and cold winds. There wasn’t much to be happy about in February and Tommy carried that idea throughout most of the year. He was rolling a coin in his hand as he sat at his desk staring at the double doors. The same girl as always was on his mind. The girl he always caught himself dreaming of, the girl he knew he would never have a chance with.

For one thing, she was completely out of his league but still managed to stick around to ask him how his week had been, and how his business was going. Her hair was cropped short like many of the girls now, she was bright-faced with rouged lips and far more beautiful than the prostitutes he filled his time with to stop the ache in his heart. The ache that was there because of you.

It was longing, a longing he had felt for longer than he cared to remember. The memories didn’t help, he just wanted you.

Tommy’s office was dimly lit, and the greyness of the two o’clock sun hiding behind clouds did nothing to light the room. Tommy had a lamp on in the centre of the room, but its light barely reached his desk. He wasn’t doing anything important in particular. He was just wallowing in his despair, his strong desire for you right at that moment.

He hadn’t seen you properly in about a week, but what he didn’t know was that you were on your way to see him now. It was your style to do this, to pop up unexpectedly, to keep up formalities like this even when you didn’t have too.

Tommy was one of those formalities. You had no business with him, no strong connections anymore. You had dated John once, not that long either, but you really had no business seeing Tommy like this. But he’d never stopped you before.

Tommy had his head in his hands, his elbows on top of the mahogany desk. His cigarette was still lit between his fingers, and the ash was falling onto his desk. You walked into his office with the same fervour you always did.

“What has you down, Tom?” You hadn’t even stopped to think that you may have been intruding, but you moved swiftly towards his desk from the doorway of his office, and then around his desk. Tommy looked up quickly after hearing your voice. He had imagined it all day, but this time it was too palpable, to thick, to warm to be his own imagination. He was confused for a second, but then he watched you get close to him. Your hand was on his shoulder, gripping his strength there and rubbing comfortingly into his stress prone body.

“It’s nothing,” he spoke carefully, he looked away as he spoke. He didn’t want to meet your eyes as your hand was still massaging his shoulder. You noticed the anxiety he had, he had never been a shy person before, you knew he had some kind of affection for you. But as you stood above him, your hand on his shoulder, you were compelled to touch his skin.

You pulled your cloche hat off your head and tossed it on to his desk. You smooth your hair back in place before you crouched down to meet his eyes.

“Hey, you can tell me anythin’ you know?” Your hand slid onto his then, and he didn’t hesitate to take it in his, intertwining his fingers with yours slowly. He sighed audibly before he closed his eyes and leaned his head back.

“Why do you do this to me?” He spoke roughly as kept his eyes closed, his grip on your hand tightening for a second.

“What am I doing to you, Tom?” a thoughtful expression was on your face, it was the first thing Tommy saw as he finally opened his eyes.

“You’re always here when I can’t stand how long you’ve been away. You always touch me this way, you shouldn’t touch a man who wants more from you. It’s dangerous for you.” Tommy had a cross expression on his face as if he weren’t getting his way on some kind of deal.

You couldn’t help it as smooth smile slid onto your face, it wasn’t completely knowing, it was just more provocative than usual. It didn’t help Tommy at all, that he was so enamoured with you, and you were still there, knelt down just to see his face.

“You want more from me?” Tommy eyed you suspiciously before he let go of your hand. You frowned with his sudden movement. Tommy was still staring at you intently, trying to read your face. You were about to stand up, as your legs had grown sore from being crouched to the floor too long, but as you got up Tommy pulled you onto his lap.

“Tommy!” you exclaimed, he’d never been this forward with you before, though you knew this had probably crossed his mind at least once or twice. In reality, it had crossed his mind several times. He just wanted to feel you. “Tom,” Your voice came out soft as you were so close to him. You hadn’t even been this intimate with your current boyfriend. Tommy let his hand touch your legs, your dress had moved up when Tommy pulled you close to him.

Your lips were so close to his, you could almost taste the whisky in his breath.

“Just once, alright?” You didn’t answer him, you let it happen because deep down you wanted it to happen. Every movement felt like fire. The one hand on the skin between your thighs, the other on the back of your neck, and Tommy’s lips on yours; kissing you chastely. Soft, loving, smooth, it had you wanting more already. But he moved back to take a look at you. He’d never had you this close to him, and in his lap, looking more provocative then he had ever seen. His pale blue eyes were set ablaze.

You weren’t going to let him breathe since he had already taken your breath away. You pressed your lips against his again, gingerly, carefully, as if you’d break. There was enough desire there to stir you for hours. You weren’t going to wait for him to be good to you like you knew he wanted to be. You slid your tongue against his lip and he was so willing to let you have your way.

What was this feeling? Was there longing in you too? Was that the reason you still felt compelled to see him every now and again, even though your life had already gone a different direction, away from Tommy. It was clear in your head now, you had wanted this for a long time, but you had told yourself not too. You had wanted him the same way he wanted you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do that. Tommy was a broken man, and you had no place trying to fix a broken man.

But you couldn’t help it. He couldn’t help it either. As he kissed you with so much desire so much passion as if you were soulmates from an ancient world reunited once again through obstacles the world put in between you.

A tear slid down your cheek as all the emotion overwhelmed you, but you couldn’t stop. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pressing your chest against his wanting to feel him there, to reassure yourself you hadn’t just imagined everything.

Tommy stopped you then, he looked at your face carefully. He brushed the tear off your face with his thumb before he spoke. “You should run, I’m no good for you. You already know that” Tommy looked pained to say it, because he wanted you more than anything, and he was tired of the longing. He had gotten a taste of the real thing, a taste of you, and he didn’t want to go; but he was smarter than that.

“I know you’re no good, but you really think I could leave after that. I want more from you too, even if it’s just for a while.” Tommy gulped down hard on air, he wasn’t hallucinating, he wasn’t asleep, this wasn’t his imagination. You were really there, on his lap, asking for more, more of him, more of you two together.

“I’ll do what you ask of me, even if it’s just for a while,” it was a whisper, a quiet gesture of love.


End file.
